Rulebook

92 tells, and what each one gives away

Every rule names a habit that shows up at a different rate in model-written prose than in writing by people. No single rule decides anything. 89 rules feed the verdict, and 3 voice rules only guard rewrites. The highlighted words in each example are the ones the engine actually caught.

r-001 · Words

Stock vocabulary

Words that language models reach for far more often than people do, such as delve, pivotal, seamless and testament.

With the tell

In this report we delve into the intricate interplay between cost and resilience, a pivotal question for any board embarking on a cloud migration.

Without it

This report asks one question: does moving to the cloud make a firm more resilient, or just more expensive?

With the tell

The rollout was seamless, and the new portal stands as a testament to the team's meticulous planning.

Without it

The rollout finished a week early, and nobody called the helpdesk about the new portal on its first day.

Fix Use the plain word, or cut it. If the sentence needs the fancy word to sound like it says something, it probably says nothing.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.tier1
  • soundshuman.tier2
  • soundshuman.7
  • humanizer.7
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-002 · Words

Dodging "is" and "has"

Plain "is" and "has" give way to serves as, stands as, boasts or "represents a significant".

With the tell

The new Manchester facility serves as the backbone of the group's UK operations and boasts 12 megawatts of IT load.

Without it

The new Manchester facility runs most of the group's UK workloads and has 12 megawatts of IT load.

Fix Say what the thing is and what it has.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.8
  • soundshuman.regex.copula-avoidance
  • humanizer.8

r-003 · Words

Filler phrases

Several words doing the work of one, such as in order to, due to the fact that and it is worth noting that.

With the tell

It is worth noting that, in order to qualify for the discount, customers need to commit for three years. Due to the fact that most of them budget annually, take-up has been slow.

Without it

To qualify for the discount, customers must commit for three years. Most of them budget one year at a time, so take-up has been slow.

Fix Swap each for its short form (to, because, now, if, can) or delete it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.31
  • soundshuman.phrases
  • humanizer.23

r-004 · Words

Chatbot leftovers

The text still talks to the person who asked the chatbot, with great question, I hope this helps or let me know if you would like more.

With the tell

Great question! Hybrid cloud pricing is complicated, so here is a quick breakdown of the main costs. I hope this helps, and let me know if you'd like a comparison of the big three providers.

Without it

Hybrid cloud pricing has three parts: compute, storage and egress. Egress catches most finance teams out because it is billed per gigabyte that leaves the provider's network.

With the tell

Certainly! Here is a revised version of the press release with a punchier opening.

Without it

Harbour Software has cut its per-device price by a fifth for customers who sign three- year contracts before 31 March.

Fix Delete the conversation. Keep the answer.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.25
  • soundshuman.27
  • soundshuman.29
  • soundshuman.regex.chatbot-artifact
  • humanizer.20
  • humanizer.22
  • gate.generic-warmth
  • unslop.ctc-help-guides
  • unslop.ctc-press-releases

r-005 · Words

Brochure adjectives

Praise words from a sales brochure, such as world-class, cutting-edge and industry-leading, in place of evidence.

With the tell

The company's world-class engineers have built a cutting-edge, industry-leading platform that delivers unrivalled performance.

Without it

The company's platform answered 99.98% of requests inside 200 milliseconds in our month-long test, against 99.7% for the product it replaced.

Fix Replace the adjective with the fact that would earn it, or drop it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.4
  • soundshuman.phrases
  • humanizer.4

r-006 · Words

Abstract metaphor nouns

Nouns that point near a thing instead of naming it, such as landscape, ecosystem, journey, playbook and north star.

With the tell

The security landscape is shifting, and every CISO now needs a playbook for the AI journey that keeps customer trust as the north star.

Without it

Attackers now use AI to write phishing emails, and CISOs need a written plan for which staff can use which AI tools with customer data.

Fix Ask what the plain concrete word is and use it. A landscape is usually a market; a journey is usually a project.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • gate.metaphor-noun
  • gate.vicinity-noun
  • style-advice
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.dl-production

r-007 · Words

Stacked transitions

Sentence after sentence opens with a joining word such as additionally, furthermore, moreover or consequently.

With the tell

The upgrade reduces licence costs. Additionally, it simplifies patching. Furthermore, it removes the need for a second backup tool. Moreover, staff need less training.

Without it

The upgrade cuts licence costs and makes patching simpler. It also replaces the second backup tool, and staff need less training on it.

Fix Most of these can go. If the ideas follow, the reader can tell; if they do not, a transition will not fix it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.tier2
  • unslop.dl-blog

r-008 · Words

Knowledge-cutoff disclaimers

The writer apologises for not knowing, or fills a gap with a guess dressed as fact.

With the tell

While specific figures are limited, the contract is likely worth several million pounds a year, based on available information about similar deals.

Without it

Neither company disclosed the value of the contract.

Fix Say plainly what is not known, or leave the sentence out. Never guess to fill the space.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.26
  • soundshuman.regex.cutoff-disclaimer
  • humanizer.21

r-009 · Punctuation

Dash density

Dashes carry the paragraph, wrapping asides and joining clauses that a comma or full stop would handle.

With the tell

The rollout which began in March covered 40 branches. Staff training the part everyone forgets took twice as long as planned. The helpdesk logged 300 extra tickets.

Without it

The rollout, which began in March, covered 40 branches. Staff training took twice as long as planned, and the helpdesk logged 300 extra tickets.

Fix Use a full stop, a comma or brackets for most of them. Keep one dash where nothing else does the job.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.16
  • soundshuman.regex.em-dash
  • humanizer.14
  • gate.em-dash-clustering
  • house_fix.HOW.em_dash_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.ctc-press-releases

r-010 · Punctuation

Colons as connectors

Colons keep setting up a reveal, so the paragraph reads as a string of announcements.

With the tell

The problem is simple: most backups are never tested. The fix costs less than people think: a quarterly restore drill. The result: fewer surprises when ransomware hits.

Without it

Most backups are never tested, and a quarterly restore drill costs less than people think. Firms that run one find the gaps before ransomware does.

Fix Turn each set-up and reveal into one plain sentence. Keep colons for lists and quotations.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • gate.colon-heavy
  • house_fix.HOW.colon_per_1k
  • smell.colon_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-011 · Punctuation

Bold-label lists

Each bullet opens with a bold label and a colon, then repeats the label in a sentence.

With the tell

- **Cost:** Costs fall because idle servers are switched off overnight. - **Security:** Security improves through automated patching. - **Speed:** Speed increases as builds run in parallel.

Without it

Idle servers now switch off overnight, which cut our test bill by a third. Patches install within 48 hours of release, and builds run in parallel, finishing in 11 minutes instead of 40.

Fix Write it as a paragraph, or keep a plain list without the labels.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.18
  • soundshuman.regex.inline-header-list
  • humanizer.16
  • gate.bold-lead-in
  • house_fix.HOW.labeled_bullet_pct_of_bullets
  • unslop.ctc-press-releases
  • unslop.dl-sales

r-012 · Punctuation

Title Case headings

A heading capitalises every word, including the small ones such as And, Of and Your.

With the tell

## Why Your Cloud Bill Keeps Going Up Most of the increase comes from storage that nobody deleted.

Without it

## Why your cloud bill keeps going up Most of the increase comes from storage that nobody deleted.

Fix Use sentence case in headings. Capitalise the first word and proper nouns only.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.19
  • humanizer.17

r-013 · Punctuation

Decorative emoji

Emoji decorate headings, bullets or sentences in professional prose.

With the tell

🚀 Launch day: the new edge nodes go live in Leeds and Glasgow on 3 March. No downtime is expected for existing customers.

Without it

The new edge nodes go live in Leeds and Glasgow on 3 March. Existing customers should see no downtime.

Fix Take them out. If a point needs emphasis, the words should carry it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.20
  • soundshuman.regex.emoji
  • humanizer.18

r-014 · Structure

Not this, but that

A point is made by first saying what something is not, as in "it's not just X, it's Y" or "this isn't X. This is Y."

With the tell

Zero trust isn't a product you buy. It's a way of deciding who gets access to what, and it's not just about identity, but about every device on the network.

Without it

Zero trust means checking every request for access, from every user and every device, instead of trusting anything already inside the network.

With the tell

The outage was not only a technical failure but a failure of communication. It is not about blame, it's about learning.

Without it

The outage lasted four hours because the status page ran on the same servers that went down, so customers heard nothing until 11am.

Fix Say what it is. Drop the half that knocks down a claim nobody made.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.9
  • soundshuman.regex.negative-parallelism
  • soundshuman.regex.its-not-x-its-y
  • humanizer.9
  • gate.empty-contrast
  • house_fix.HOW.contrast_per_1k
  • house_fix.HOW.not_just_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-sales

r-015 · Punctuation

Mixed quote marks

Straight and curly quote marks sit side by side in one paragraph, a sign that text was pasted in from somewhere else.

With the tell

Microsoft’s licensing change "will cost us about £80,000 a year," the finance director said. It’s the third increase since 2022.

Without it

Microsoft's licensing change "will cost us about £80,000 a year," the finance director said. It's the third increase since 2022.

Fix Pick one style for the whole piece and convert the rest. Curly or straight is a house choice; mixing them is the tell.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.21
  • soundshuman.regex.curly-double-quotes
  • humanizer.19

r-016 · Punctuation

Lists instead of prose

Most of the lines are bullets, so ideas that depend on each other are chopped into fragments.

With the tell

Key benefits include: - Lower costs - Better security - Faster deployment - Improved compliance

Without it

The move cut hosting costs by £60,000 a year and let the team ship updates weekly instead of monthly. Compliance did not get easier, because the auditors still wanted evidence from both environments.

Fix Write connected ideas as sentences. Keep a list only for items that are truly parallel and meant to be scanned.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.22
  • gate.over-organisation
  • house_fix.HOW.bullet_line_pct
  • house_fix.HOW.headings_per_1k
  • style-advice

r-017 · Rates

Same-length sentences

Every sentence is about the same length, so the paragraph ticks along like a metronome.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

The platform collects logs from every server in the estate. It stores them in a single searchable index for analysts. Alerts are raised whenever unusual activity appears in the data. Reports are produced automatically at the end of each week.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

The platform collects logs from every server we run. It keeps them in one index, which meant our analysts stopped jumping between six consoles and started catching the odd 3am login that used to slip past them. Alerts fire on anything unusual. The weekly report goes to the security team every Friday, and the team reads it on Monday morning.

Fix Let the content set the length. Give a chain of cause a long sentence and a plain fact a short one.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • house_fix.HOW.cv_sentence_len
  • smell.cv_sentence_len
  • gate.sameness
  • soundshuman.statistical-tells

r-018 · Rates

Adverb pile-up

Adverbs ending in -ly prop up weak verbs and inflate claims, as in significantly improves or fundamentally changes.

With the tell

The new release significantly improves performance and seamlessly integrates with existing tools, fundamentally changing how teams actually work and dramatically reducing costs.

Without it

The new release halves query times and plugs into Jira and Slack, and in our pilot it cut the team's monthly hosting bill from £9,000 to £6,500.

Fix Cut the adverb. If the verb cannot stand alone, find the verb that carries the meaning, or give the number.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.33
  • gate.adverb-crutch
  • gate.vague-intensifier
  • verb-check
  • style-advice

r-019 · Rates

Passive paragraph

Most sentences are passive, so things happen without anyone doing them.

With the tell

The servers were migrated over a weekend. The data was copied to the new region and checked. Users were notified on Monday, and the old accounts were closed.

Without it

Our infrastructure team moved the servers over a weekend. The vendor copied the data to the new region and checked it, we emailed users on Monday, and IT closed the old accounts.

Fix Put the actor first. Keep the passive only when the actor is unknown or the object is the real story.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.13
  • humanizer.13
  • sentence-models

r-020 · Rates

Stacked hedges

Several qualifiers pile into one sentence, such as could potentially or may arguably, until the claim cannot be wrong.

With the tell

Moving to reserved instances could potentially reduce costs, and it may arguably improve resilience in some cases. Results will vary. Most firms see some benefit.

Without it

Moving to reserved instances cut compute costs by 22% in our test. It did nothing for resilience. Two of the five firms we asked saw no saving at all.

Fix Keep one qualifier per claim, and only when you can say what triggers it. Otherwise state what is true.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.32
  • soundshuman.regex.hedging-stack
  • humanizer.24
  • smart-brevity

r-021 · Rates

Groups of three

Lists of exactly three keep turning up, chosen for rhythm rather than because there are three things.

With the tell

The platform offers speed, scale and security. It helps teams plan, build and ship, and it cuts cost, risk and complexity.

Without it

The platform is fast enough for our 400 developers. Its main selling point for us was the price, at £12 a seat against £30 for the product we replaced.

Fix Name the one or two items that matter, or give all four. Save the triple for the line that has to be remembered.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.10
  • soundshuman.regex.oxford-triple
  • humanizer.10
  • gate.rule-of-three
  • house_fix.HOW.triads_per_1k
  • smell.triads_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production

r-022 · Rates

Thesaurus prose

Almost no word appears twice, which happens when a writer, or a model, avoids repetition at all costs.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

Enterprises increasingly adopt hybrid architectures, blending on-premises infrastructure with public hyperscalers. Such configurations demand rigorous governance, meticulous observability and adaptive security postures. Consequently, procurement leaders scrutinise contracts, negotiate flexible consumption terms and prioritise interoperability across heterogeneous estates, while finance departments forecast expenditure against volatile usage patterns.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

We moved half of our workloads to the cloud and kept the other half in our own data centre. The half we kept is the half that talks to the warehouse system, because the warehouse system is old and the cloud version of it costs more than the data centre does.

Fix Repeat the clearest word. Real explanations reuse their key nouns.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • smell.ttr_280
  • soundshuman.statistical-tells

r-023 · Rates

Long-word share

A high share of words run to ten letters or more, so the prose reads like a procurement document.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

Organisations implementing comprehensive digitalisation programmes require sophisticated orchestration capabilities, interoperability frameworks and continuous performance optimisation across heterogeneous infrastructure environments. Successful implementation necessitates collaborative governance structures, standardised documentation and systematic prioritisation of modernisation initiatives.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

If you move a lot of systems at once, you need a way to run them together and a way to check they still work. Most of the firms we talked to bought a tool for the first job and hired a person for the second.

Fix Swap long abstract words for short concrete ones. Say it the way you would at the bar.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • smart-brevity
  • ste

r-024 · Structure

Recap openers

Sentences open by announcing a summary, with in conclusion, all in all, at the end of the day or the bottom line.

With the tell

In conclusion, the migration delivered what the business needed. At the end of the day, a cheaper and faster platform is what every finance director wants.

Without it

The migration cut hosting costs by 30% and halved the time to open a new branch account, from ten days to five.

Fix Delete the phrase. If the sentence only repeats what came before, delete the sentence too.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • gate.in-summation
  • gate.restatement-ending
  • soundshuman.phrases

r-025 · Structure

Stop-start fragments

Very short sentences come in runs, as in "We ran the numbers. Twice. The saving was real. And small."

With the tell

We ran the numbers. Twice. The saving was real. And small. Most of it came from switching off test servers at weekends.

Without it

We ran the numbers twice, and the saving was real but small. Most of it came from switching off test servers at weekends.

Fix Join the fragments to their neighbours. One short sentence for emphasis is fine; a run of them sounds staged.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.38
  • humanizer.31
  • gate.punchy-fragments
  • house_fix.HOW.frag_pct
  • smell.frag_pct
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.dl-production

r-026 · Structure

False ranges

A "from X to Y" pair borrows the shape of a spectrum when X and Y sit on no real scale.

With the tell

From small accountancy practices to global banks, every organisation now faces the same pressure to modernise its data estate.

Without it

Accountancy practices with ten staff and banks with ten thousand are both being asked by their regulators to show where customer data is stored.

Fix List the things you mean, or give the actual range with numbers.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.12
  • humanizer.12
  • gate.false-range

r-027 · Structure

Openers pointing at nothing

A paragraph opens with "This is where", "That's why" or "This matters", pointing back at something the reader has to go and find.

With the tell

This is where it gets interesting. Once a workload moves to a hyperscaler, its licence terms change as well, and few finance teams notice until the renewal.

Without it

Moving a workload to a hyperscaler also changes its licence terms. Few finance teams notice until the renewal, when the bill arrives.

Fix Name the thing. Start with the subject, not a pronoun standing in for it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production

r-028 · Structure

Participle tails

A sentence ends with a comma and an -ing phrase that adds importance but no information, such as underscoring its commitment.

With the tell

The bank moved its payments platform to Azure in 2023, underscoring its commitment to cloud-first innovation and cementing its position as a digital leader.

Without it

The bank moved its payments platform to Azure in 2023, two years after its main rival made the same move.

Fix Cut the tail, or turn it into a sentence that states the fact it hints at.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.3
  • soundshuman.regex.ing-tail
  • humanizer.3

r-029 · Structure

Staged reveal questions

A short question sets up its own answer, as in "The result? Longer waits."

With the tell

The result? Customers wait longer. The reason? Nobody owns the queue.

Without it

Customers now wait longer because no single team is responsible for the support queue.

Fix Write the answer as a statement. Keep a question only when the reader would genuinely ask it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.40
  • humanizer.33
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-blog

r-030 · Structure

Repeated sentence openers

Sentence after sentence starts with the same word, most often "The".

With the tell

The migration started in March. The first sites moved in April. The helpdesk took extra calls for a fortnight. The final site moved in June.

Without it

The migration started in March, and the first sites moved in April. For a fortnight the helpdesk took extra calls. By June the last site had moved.

Fix Start where the sentence's news is. Join two of them, or lead one with its time, place or actor.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • house_fix.HOW.no_anaphora
  • gate.excess-parallelism
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog

r-031 · Meaning

Significance inflation

Ordinary facts are dressed as turning points, testaments and crucial roles, or the stakes are declared high without saying what they are.

With the tell

The partnership marks a pivotal moment for the UK's AI sector and serves as a testament to the country's growing influence, setting the stage for a new era.

Without it

The partnership gives UK start-ups rented access to 2,000 GPUs in Cambridge from April, at a price the two firms say is 40% below the market rate.

With the tell

Cloud skills play a crucial role in the UK economy, and the stakes have never been higher.

Without it

The UK had 25,000 unfilled cloud engineering jobs in June, and the median salary for them rose 9% in a year, according to the recruiter's own data.

Fix State the fact and what it changes, in numbers if you have them. If nothing changes, cut the claim.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.1
  • soundshuman.36
  • soundshuman.regex.significance-inflation
  • soundshuman.regex.vague-declarative
  • humanizer.1
  • gate.significance-inflation
  • gate.beacon-construction
  • gate.vague-intensifier

r-032 · Meaning

Vague attribution

Claims lean on unnamed authorities, such as experts warn, studies show or it is widely believed.

With the tell

Experts warn that most UK firms are unprepared for quantum attacks, and studies show that moving to new encryption can take a decade.

Without it

The National Cyber Security Centre's guidance of March 2025 asks large UK organisations to finish moving to post-quantum encryption by 2035.

Fix Name the source and what it said, with a date. If you cannot, drop the claim; never invent a source to prop it up.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.5
  • soundshuman.regex.vague-attribution
  • humanizer.5

r-033 · Meaning

Challenges and prospects

A vague concession ("despite these challenges") is followed by a vague recovery ("continues to thrive").

With the tell

Like any fast-growing market, UK fintech is not without its challenges. Despite these headwinds, the sector continues to thrive.

Without it

UK fintech firms raised less money in 2024 than in 2023, though the payments firms in our sample raised more than the year before.

Fix Name the difficulty and the outcome, with figures. If there is no specific difficulty, drop the section.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.6
  • humanizer.6
  • gate.formulaic-challenge

r-034 · Meaning

Nobody home

A long paragraph with no I or we, no contractions and no stated view, so no person seems to be speaking.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

Organisations considering a move to managed detection and response should evaluate providers on coverage, response times and integration with existing tooling. Contract terms vary considerably between suppliers, and additional charges frequently emerge after the first year of service, particularly where pricing is tied to the number of log sources or endpoints under management. A structured evaluation process, involving security, finance and procurement from the outset, reduces the likelihood of an unsuitable choice. It also supports a smoother transition for internal teams, who will need to adapt existing escalation procedures and reporting lines to the new arrangement. Reference calls with existing customers of a similar size provide a further safeguard, particularly where those customers operate in the same regulated sector.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

We've bought managed detection twice, and I'd do it differently the second time. The first contract looked cheap until year two, when the supplier started charging for every log source over the first fifty, and our bill went up by half. I didn't read the pricing schedule closely enough; that's on me. Our security lead now reads it before she reads the capability deck, and we bring finance into the room on day one instead of at signing. It's slower. It's also the reason our second contract hasn't moved on price in three years, and why we haven't had a single argument about what's in scope.

Fix Say who thinks this. Put in the writer's own view, experience or doubt where the piece allows it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.personality
  • smell.first_person_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-035 · Meaning

Generic upbeat ending

The piece closes on a bright, empty forecast, such as "the future looks bright" or "those who embrace it will thrive".

With the tell

One thing is certain: organisations that embrace AI today will be best placed to thrive tomorrow. The future looks bright.

Without it

Whether the pilot pays for itself will be clear in June, when the council publishes its first year of call-handling figures.

Fix End on the last concrete fact, or on the real next step and its date.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.34
  • soundshuman.regex.generic-conclusion
  • humanizer.25
  • gate.moral-ending

r-036 · Meaning

Synonym cycling

The same thing gets a new name in every sentence, so a reader wonders whether it is still the same thing.

With the tell

Acme signed the deal in May. The firm said sales rose. The vendor also hired staff. The provider now plans a second site, and the company expects a profit by 2027.

Without it

Acme signed the deal in May. Sales rose afterwards, Acme said, and it hired staff. It now plans a second site and expects to make a profit by 2027.

Fix Pick one name and repeat it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • soundshuman.11
  • humanizer.11
  • gate.synonym-cycling
  • style-advice
  • ste
  • unslop.ctc-press-releases

r-037 · Meaning

Uniform register

Every sentence sits at the same polite, formal distance from the reader, with no shift in tone.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

The implementation of the solution necessitates careful consideration of organisational requirements. The evaluation of available options demonstrates significant variation in functionality. The selection of an appropriate provider requires comprehensive assessment of capabilities. The integration of the platform facilitates improved operational efficiency across departments.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

We needed a new ticketing system and didn't have long, so I tried four. Two were fine and one was awful. The one we picked cost £40 a seat, which hurt, but it works, and my team stopped complaining within a fortnight.

Fix Let the register move with the content. Say some of it the way you would say it out loud.

  • slop-meter-concept

r-038 · Meaning

Both-sides wrap-up

The piece ends by declining to choose, with "there is no one-size-fits-all" or "the right choice depends on your needs".

With the tell

Both public and private cloud have their merits, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Ultimately, the right choice depends on your organisation's specific needs.

Without it

For a 40-person firm with no data-centre staff, public cloud wins. In our comparison the private option cost £11,000 a year more to run.

Fix Make the call for a named kind of reader, and give the fact that decides it.

  • slop-meter-concept
  • unslop.ctc-help-guides
  • unslop.ctc-analysis

r-100 · Meaning

False agency

Things with no will are given one, as in "the data tells us" or "the decision emerged", so no person is named.

With the tell

The data tells us that hybrid working is here to stay, and the market rewards firms that adapt. Over time, the decision to consolidate suppliers emerged.

Without it

Of the 400 IT directors we surveyed, 71% had no plans to bring staff back full time. Their finance teams chose to consolidate suppliers as contracts came up for renewal.

Fix Name who did it. Decisions do not emerge; someone makes them.

  • soundshuman.14
  • soundshuman.regex.false-agency

r-101 · Meaning

Lazy extremes

Sweeping claims about everyone and nobody, such as "nobody budgets for this" or "every IT leader knows", stand in for evidence.

With the tell

Every IT leader knows the feeling. Nobody budgets for egress fees, and nobody talks about them until the invoice lands.

Without it

Egress fees were missing from four of the six cloud budgets we reviewed, and in each case finance found out from the first invoice.

Fix Say how many and who. "Four of the six budgets we saw" beats "nobody".

  • soundshuman.15
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-sales

r-102 · Structure

Announcing the point

The writing announces what it is about to do, with "let's dive in", "in this article we'll explore" or "here's what you need to know".

With the tell

Let's dive in. In this article, we'll explore how UK retailers are using computer vision at the till, and here's what you need to know before you buy.

Without it

Two UK grocers trialled camera-based checkouts last year. Each system cost about £40,000 per store to fit, and neither has published its shrinkage figures yet.

Fix Delete the announcement and start with the first real fact.

  • soundshuman.30
  • soundshuman.regex.throat-clearing
  • humanizer.28
  • gate.over-signposting

r-103 · Meaning

Cutting through the noise

The writer claims to reveal a deeper truth ("at its core", "the real question is", "the honest answer") and then says something ordinary.

With the tell

At its core, the real question is not which model you pick. The uncomfortable truth is that most firms have no data worth training on.

Without it

Most of the firms we spoke to had less than two years of clean customer data, which rules out training a model of their own.

Fix Drop the preamble and state the point. If it is honest, the reader will notice without being told.

  • soundshuman.37
  • soundshuman.regex.authority-trope
  • humanizer.27
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.ctc-press-releases
  • unslop.ctc-help-guides

r-104 · Meaning

Pull-quote aphorisms

An ordinary claim is dressed as a slogan, such as "trust is the new currency" or "security is a team sport".

With the tell

Trust is the new currency of digital business, and security is a team sport.

Without it

In our survey of 300 IT buyers, 41% had dropped a supplier after a breach notice, so a vendor's security record now affects its sales as well as its IT.

Fix Write the concrete claim the slogan gestures at.

  • soundshuman.39
  • humanizer.32
  • unslop.dl-production

r-105 · Structure

Fake-candid openers

A sentence opens with a staged aside, such as "Honestly?", "Look," or "Here's the thing:", before an ordinary claim.

With the tell

Is multi-cloud worth the effort? Honestly? For most mid-sized firms, no. Here's the thing: the second provider mostly adds a second bill.

Without it

For most mid-sized firms a second cloud provider adds a second bill and little resilience, because their applications are not built to fail over between clouds.

Fix Say the thing. A person being frank does not announce it.

  • soundshuman.40
  • soundshuman.regex.throat-clearing
  • humanizer.33

r-106 · Structure

Lecturer voice

Sentences float above the scene with "What makes this hard is" or "People tend to", instead of putting the reader in it.

With the tell

What makes this hard is the coordination between security and finance. People tend to underestimate how long that takes.

Without it

Security and finance at Kestrel Insurance took four months to agree who would pay for the new monitoring licences.

Fix Lead with the subject and a real case. "Security and finance took four months to agree" beats "What makes this hard is coordination."

  • soundshuman.41

r-107 · Words

Reasoning scaffolding

The working-out is left in, with "Let me break this down" or "First, let's consider".

With the tell

Let me break this down. First, let's consider the licence cost, and then we can look at the migration effort.

Without it

The licence costs £18 per user a month. Moving 200 mailboxes took our pilot team six weeks.

Fix Delete the scaffolding. Keep the conclusion and the evidence for it.

  • soundshuman.28

r-108 · Meaning

Name-dropping for credibility

Outlets, awards or coverage are listed to prove importance, without saying what any of them said.

With the tell

Her work has been featured in outlets such as the Financial Times, Wired and the BBC, and she maintains an active social media presence.

Without it

In a 2023 interview with the Financial Times she argued that most bank chatbots would fail the FCA's consumer duty test.

Fix Pick the one source that matters and quote what it said. Cut the rest.

  • soundshuman.2
  • humanizer.2
  • gate.unattributed-namedrop
  • style-advice

r-109 · Structure

Negation chains

Negative fragments pile up for effect, as in "No agents. No scripts. No surprises."

With the tell

Setup takes ten minutes. No agents. No scripts. No surprises on the invoice.

Without it

Setup takes about ten minutes because the service reads your existing logs directly, so there is nothing to install on each server.

Fix Write one sentence that says what the thing does, which is usually why the negatives were true.

  • soundshuman.9
  • soundshuman.regex.negative-listing
  • humanizer.9
  • house_fix.HOW.no_anaphora
  • smell.no_anaphora

r-110 · Words

Boardroom idioms

Office clichés, such as move the needle, low-hanging fruit and silver bullet, arrive two or three to a paragraph.

With the tell

There is no silver bullet, but a deep dive into your contracts will find the low-hanging fruit that really moves the needle.

Without it

Reading your contracts line by line usually turns up two or three cheap fixes, such as unused licences, that cut the bill by a tenth.

Fix Say what you mean in plain words. Low-hanging fruit is usually "the cheapest fixes".

  • soundshuman.phrases
  • unslop.ctc-help-guides

r-120 · Anchor

Verbs turned into nouns

The action is turned into a noun (reduction, implementation, optimisation) so the sentence need not say who did what.

With the tell

There was a significant reduction in energy use last year. The implementation of the new monitoring platform is expected to drive further improvement.

Without it

Northgate Logistics cut energy use at its Doncaster warehouse by 12% last year, after its IT team fitted smart meters to every rack.

Fix Turn the noun back into a verb and put the actor in front of it. If the draft does not say who, the sentence is missing a fact.

  • gate.nominalisation
  • verb-check
  • house_fix.CRAFT
  • ste

r-121 · Anchor

Passive with the actor deleted

Several things are done in the paragraph and nobody does them ("jobs were cut", "the decision was taken").

With the tell

Two hundred support jobs were cut in March. The decision was taken after the merger, staff were informed the same afternoon, and the helpdesk has been moved offshore.

Without it

Harbour Software cut 200 support jobs in March, two months after the merger. Its chief executive told staff by email that afternoon, and the company moved its helpdesk to Manila.

Fix Ask "by whom?" and put the answer first. Runs of these cluster around layoffs, breaches and price rises, so check who is being protected.

  • gate.agentless-passive
  • verb-check

r-122 · Anchor

Empty "is"

"There is" and "X is important" sentences stand where an action should be, burying the subject and the number.

With the tell

There is growing pressure on IT teams to cut costs. Visibility is critical, and it is important that leaders act now.

Without it

Finance asked IT at Kestrel Insurance to cut £400,000 from cloud spend by April. The team started by tagging every workload with a named owner.

Fix Replace "is" with the action the sentence was hiding. Who is under pressure, from whom, to do what?

  • gate.empty-copula
  • verb-check
  • house_fix.CRAFT

r-123 · Anchor

Verbs you could not film

Verbs that signal motion but show none, such as leverage, unlock, empower and streamline.

With the tell

The platform empowers operators to unlock new efficiencies and streamline their workflows.

Without it

The platform re-tunes fan speeds every few seconds, which cut the site's cooling bill by 9% in its first quarter.

With the tell

By harnessing AI, the bank aims to supercharge productivity and future-proof its operations.

Without it

The bank will use an AI model to draft first replies to 4,000 customer emails a day, which staff then check and send.

Fix Ask whether a camera could record it. Replace the verb with what actually happens, and who does it.

  • gate.unfilmable-verb
  • gate.insipid-dynamism
  • verb-check
  • house_fix.CRAFT
  • style-advice
  • soundshuman.tier1
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-124 · Anchor

Decorative anchor

A name or a year is present, but the verb says only that something changed or evolved, so the specific carries nothing.

With the tell

Harbour Software has changed its approach since 2023, and its platform continues to evolve.

Without it

Harbour Software dropped per-seat pricing in 2023 and now charges £4 per managed device a month.

Fix Remove the name or date in your head. If the claim survives unchanged, add the fact that says how it changed, or cut it.

  • gate.decorative-anchor

r-125 · Anchor

Figures with no source

Percentages and sums of money appear with no source in the sentence, so a reader cannot check them.

With the tell

Cloud waste now accounts for 32% of enterprise spend, costing UK firms £4.2bn a year. Only 12% of companies track it every month.

Without it

Cloud waste accounted for 32% of spend at the 50 firms in our March survey. Only six of them, 12%, told us they track it every month.

Fix Say where each figure comes from and when. If you cannot find the source, do not print the number.

  • gate.unsourced-figure
  • anchor

r-126 · Anchor

Nothing to lose

Most sentences carry no name, number, date or source, so there is nothing a reader could check or contest.

With the tell

Security is a journey rather than a destination. Organisations need to think carefully about how they approach it. The right mindset makes all the difference in the long run. It is important to bring people along on the way.

Without it

Kestrel Insurance spent £240,000 on security training in 2024, its annual report says. Phishing click rates fell from 9% to 3% by December, according to its own tests.

Fix Give each sentence something to lose. If the facts are not in the brief, ask for them rather than polishing the prose.

  • gate.missing-specific
  • anchor

r-130 · Words

Hedges with no trigger

Softeners such as "in many ways", "arguably" and "to some extent" name no condition, so the sentence cannot be wrong.

With the tell

In many ways, the new pricing is arguably fairer, and to some extent it rewards customers who commit early.

Without it

The new pricing is fairer to small customers, who now pay per device, and it gives a 15% discount to anyone who signs for three years.

Fix Name the condition ("where the FCA rules apply") or remove the hedge and commit.

  • gate.untriggered-hedge
  • style-advice
  • smart-brevity

r-131 · Words

Transplantable phrasing

Framing phrases that fit any article, such as "a useful way to think about it" or "the key idea is".

With the tell

A useful way to think about observability is as a map of your systems. The key idea is that you can't fix what you can't see.

Without it

Observability tools record every request that passes through a system, so when checkout slows down an engineer can see which service held it up.

Fix Run the transplant test. If a competitor could publish the sentence tomorrow unchanged, replace it with your own fact.

  • gate.recyclable-phrasing
  • style-advice

r-132 · Words

Abstract nouns doing a fact's job

Abstractions such as innovation, efficiency, agility and transformation fill the space where a fact should be.

With the tell

The programme drives innovation, efficiency and agility, delivering transformation and resilience across the business.

Without it

The programme moved 60 applications to containers, and releases that took a month now take a week.

Fix For each one, ask what you could see or count. Write that instead.

  • gate.abstract-noun
  • style-advice
  • smart-brevity

r-133 · Words

Era-setting openers

The sentence opens on the state of the world, with "in today's fast-paced landscape" or "now more than ever".

With the tell

In today's fast-paced digital landscape, businesses face mounting pressure to modernise. Now more than ever, IT leaders must rethink their approach.

Without it

Kestrel Insurance has until March to move 30 claims applications off a mainframe whose support contract ends that month.

Fix Start with the news. The reader already knows what decade it is.

  • gate.formulaic-opening
  • soundshuman.phrases
  • style-advice

r-134 · Structure

Hard-pivot transitions

The piece stops to announce a detour, with "to understand why this matters, we first need to look at".

With the tell

To understand why this matters, we first need to look at how database licensing worked before 2019.

Without it

Before 2019 the database licence counted every host in the cluster, not just the ones running the database, so a 40-host cluster paid for 40.

Fix Give the background in one sentence where it is needed, without the announcement.

  • gate.hard-pivot
  • style-advice

r-135 · Structure

Section previews

A count is announced before the content, as in "there are three key reasons".

With the tell

There are three key reasons why SD-WAN projects stall, and each one starts with procurement.

Without it

Most of the stalled SD-WAN projects we have seen stalled in procurement, where the old MPLS contract still had two years to run.

Fix Give the reasons. If there really are three, the reader will count them.

  • gate.section-preview
  • style-advice

r-136 · Punctuation

Jokey asides

Brackets carry a wink to the reader, such as "(yes, really)" or "(we've all been there)".

With the tell

The migration took six weekends (yes, really) and one very patient database administrator (we've all been there).

Without it

The migration took six weekends, most of them spent waiting for a single 4TB table to copy.

Fix Cut the aside. If the point is surprising, the fact will do the surprising.

  • gate.unserious-parenthetical
  • style-advice
  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-production

r-137 · Punctuation

Semicolons for effect

Semicolons stack up to give a paragraph a stately beat instead of joining ideas that belong together.

With the tell

The first outage lasted an hour; the second lasted a day; the third ended the contract.

Without it

The first outage lasted an hour and the second a day. After the third, the council ended the contract.

Fix Use full stops. Keep a semicolon only where two clauses genuinely lean on each other.

  • gate.performative-semicolon
  • house_fix.HOW.semicolon_per_1k
  • smell.semicolon_per_1k
  • ste

r-138 · Rates

Short sentences throughout

Sentence after sentence is short, so cause and effect are chopped apart and the paragraph reads as a list of statements.

Measured on every paragraph

With the tell

Cloud costs are rising. Most firms see it in storage first. Old snapshots pile up. Nobody owns the clean-up. The bill grows every month. Finance notices at year end.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

Cloud costs at most of the firms we reviewed rose first in storage, where old snapshots piled up because no team owned the clean-up. Finance usually noticed at year end, by which point the bill had grown every month for a year.

Fix Build fuller sentences that carry the cause, with because, so, which or after. Never just glue two together with "and".

  • house_fix.HOW.mean_sentence_len
  • smell.mean_sentence_len
  • sentence-models

r-139 · Structure

Long inventory lists

A sentence lists five or more products, standards or names to prove the writer knows the field.

With the tell

The platform integrates with Splunk, CrowdStrike, Palo Alto, Sentinel, Wireshark, Nessus and Okta.

Without it

The platform integrates with the two tools most of its customers already run, Splunk and Okta.

Fix Keep the two that matter to the argument and say why. Experts are selective.

  • house_fix.HOW.long_lists_per_1k
  • smell.long_lists_per_1k
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • unslop.dl-blog

r-150 · Anchor

Weak verb plus a noun

A limp verb hands the action to a noun, as in "carry out an assessment" or "make a recommendation".

With the tell

The team will carry out an assessment of the network and make a recommendation to the board before undertaking the migration of the remaining sites.

Without it

The team will assess the network, recommend a supplier to the board in June and then move the remaining 14 sites.

Fix Use the verb inside the noun (assess, recommend) and say who does it.

  • verb-check
  • house_fix.CRAFT
  • ste
  • sentence-models

r-151 · Anchor

Loaded "said" verbs

A speech verb claims the speaker's state of mind (insisted, admitted, snapped, boasted) where the facts only support "said".

With the tell

"We are not planning any price rises," the chief executive insisted, before admitting that licence terms would change in April.

Without it

"We are not planning any price rises," the chief executive said. He added that licence terms would change in April.

Fix Use "said". If the speaker really conceded something, show it with the quote, not the verb.

  • verb-check
  • house_fix.CRAFT

r-152 · Anchor

Dramatic verbs with no figure

Prices or demand soar, surge or plummet in a sentence that gives no number, so the reader cannot tell which curve it was.

With the tell

Demand for AI-ready data centre space has skyrocketed, and rents in Slough have soared as a result.

Without it

Rents for AI-ready data centre space in Slough rose 18% in the year to June, according to the letting agent's own figures.

Fix Give the figure and use the plain verb (rose, fell). Pick the vivid verb only when it is accurate for that number.

  • verb-check
  • style-advice

r-153 · Words

Adjectives propping a noun

Two judging adjectives are stacked on a noun of change, as in "a rapid, significant increase".

With the tell

The quarter saw a rapid, significant increase in phishing reports across the trusts we cover.

Without it

Phishing reports across the trusts we cover doubled in the quarter, from 310 to 640.

Fix Give the number, or find the verb that carries it: "doubled" says what "a rapid, significant increase" gestures at.

  • verb-check
  • style-advice

r-160 · Structure

Opening on a false universal

A paragraph opens by claiming what every organisation, most leaders or nobody does.

With the tell

Every enterprise architect knows the feeling: the migration plan looks tidy until the first legacy system refuses to move.

Without it

Kestrel Insurance's migration plan looked tidy until its claims system, written in COBOL in 1994, refused to run on anything newer than Windows Server 2012.

With the tell

Most IT leaders assume their backups work. They find out otherwise on the worst possible day.

Without it

Kestrel Insurance assumed its backups worked until a restore test in March failed on 11 of its 40 servers.

Fix Open on a real case or a number. Cut the first sentence and see whether the second makes a better start.

  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-161 · Structure

Cinematic scene-setting

A paragraph opens with a staged scene, such as "Somewhere in a Leeds office" or "Picture this".

With the tell

Somewhere in a Leeds office, a finance director is staring at a cloud invoice that has doubled overnight.

Without it

A Leeds logistics firm's cloud invoice doubled between March and April, after a test environment was left running over Easter.

Fix Start with what happened, to whom and when.

  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production

r-162 · Words

"The gap between"

The argument hangs on "the gap between X and Y", named as though it were the insight.

With the tell

The gap between what AI vendors promise and what IT teams can deploy is widening.

Without it

AI vendors promise deployment in weeks. The six IT teams we interviewed took between five and nine months.

Fix Say what each side measures and how far apart they are.

  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-sales
  • unslop.ctc-opinions

r-163 · Words

"Rather than" as a crutch

Contrast after contrast is framed with "rather than", so every point is made against something else.

With the tell

Rather than replacing the firewall, the team layered a new tool on top, treating it as a stopgap rather than a fix.

Without it

The team kept the old firewall and put a second tool in front of it, as a stopgap until the firewall contract ends in 2027.

Fix State the preferred option on its own. Use "instead of" or restructure where a contrast is really needed.

  • unslop.ctc-analysis
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-sales
  • house_fix.HOW.contrast_per_1k

r-164 · Structure

"The problem is" declaratives

Sentences open with "The problem is", "The fix is" or "The result is", announcing each point before making it.

With the tell

The problem is ownership. The fix is simple: give every workload a named owner. The result is a bill that finally goes down.

Without it

Once every workload had a named owner, the monthly cloud bill at Kestrel Insurance fell by a fifth.

Fix Make the point directly, starting from its subject.

  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.ctc-analysis

r-165 · Meaning

Winners and losers close

The close sorts readers into those who will thrive and those who won't.

With the tell

The companies that treat AI as a board-level priority will pull ahead. The ones that don't will spend 2027 explaining why they fell behind.

Without it

Of the 12 insurers in our sample, the four with a board member responsible for AI had put at least one model into production. None of the other eight had.

Fix End on what the evidence says will happen, to whom, and when.

  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production

r-166 · Words

Manufactured urgency

"Now", "already" and "still" all appear in one paragraph, supplying urgency that the facts do not.

With the tell

Regulators are already asking questions, boards now expect answers, and most security teams are still working from spreadsheets.

Without it

The regulator asked 40 firms for their AI risk registers in June, and 31 of them sent spreadsheets.

Fix Keep one, at most, and let the dates and numbers create the pressure.

  • unslop.ctc-analysis

r-167 · Structure

Mic-drop endings

A paragraph ends on a very short sentence straight after a long one, placed there for rhythm, as in "That's the real cost."

With the tell

The vendor promised a four-week rollout and a dedicated engineer. Six months later the firm was still paying for both platforms, and the engineer it had been promised had moved to another account. That's the real cost.

Without it

The vendor promised a four-week rollout and a dedicated engineer. Six months later the firm was still paying for both platforms, and the engineer it had been promised had moved to another account, leaving two in-house staff to finish the cut-over.

Fix End on the fact. If the short line only restates the one before, delete it.

  • unslop.dl-blog
  • unslop.dl-production
  • unslop.ctc-help-guides
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • soundshuman.38
  • humanizer.31

r-170 · Structure

Several ideas in one sentence

A long sentence carries three or more clauses strung together with and, which, but or semicolons.

With the tell

The council moved its planning system to the cloud in 2024, which was meant to save money, but the contract included a data-egress charge that nobody had modelled, and the first year's bill came in 40% over budget while the old servers were still running because the archive had not been migrated. The supplier offered a discount on the second year, which the council accepted, but the discount applied only to compute and not to egress, and the finance team did not spot the difference until the auditors raised it in their annual report.

Without it

The council moved its planning system to the cloud in 2024 to save money. Nobody had modelled the contract's data-egress charge. In the first year the bill came in 40% over budget, partly because the old servers kept running until the archive moved.

Fix Split it so each sentence carries one idea. Keep the cause and its effect together; separate the rest.

  • ste
  • sentence-models
  • smart-brevity

r-171 · Rates

Sentences past 25 words

Most sentences run past 25 words, the ceiling simplified technical English sets for descriptive text.

With the tell

The migration programme, which was approved by the board in the spring after a long review of the options available to the business, is now expected to finish in the third quarter of next year. Staff in the finance and operations teams, many of whom have already been trained on the new platform during the pilot, will move over in two waves once the data has been cleaned and checked by the supplier. The old system will be kept running in read-only mode for at least twelve months so that auditors can still reach historical records when they need them.

Without it

The board approved the migration in the spring, and it should finish in the third quarter of next year. Finance and operations staff will move in two waves once the supplier has cleaned the data. For twelve months after that the old system stays online in read-only mode, so auditors can still reach historical records.

Fix Break the longest sentences at their natural joins. Readers of technical copy lose the thread after about 20 words.

  • ste
  • smart-brevity

r-172 · Structure

Winding up to the point

The paragraph's first sentence spends a long abstract clause on context before reaching its subject.

With the tell

As organisations continue to grapple with an increasingly complex and fragmented threat environment, security teams are being asked to do more with less.

Without it

Security teams are being asked to cover more systems with the same people. At Kestrel Insurance, four analysts now watch 1,900 servers.

Fix Lead with the point. Put the one thing the reader needs in the first few words, and the context after it.

  • smart-brevity
  • sentence-models
  • ste

r-173 · Rates

Advisory modals

Should, would, could, might and may crowd the paragraph, so it reads as counsel rather than as fact.

With the tell

Organisations should review their backup strategy, and they would benefit from testing restores. Leaders could also consider immutable storage, which might reduce ransomware risk and may lower insurance premiums.

Without it

Test a full restore every quarter. Immutable storage costs Kestrel Insurance £3,000 a year and cut its cyber premium by £11,000.

Fix State what is true or give the instruction. Keep "can" for possibility and "must" for a real requirement.

  • ste
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • smart-brevity

r-180 · Punctuation

Bold scattered through prose

Bold marks several phrases in one paragraph, so nothing stands out.

With the tell

The upgrade brings **faster backups**, **lower storage costs** and **simpler licensing** to every customer on the **Enterprise** tier.

Without it

The upgrade brings faster backups, lower storage costs and simpler licensing to every customer on the Enterprise tier.

Fix Remove the bold. If one fact matters most, move it to the start of the sentence.

  • humanizer.15
  • soundshuman.17

r-181 · Punctuation

Hyphens after the noun

Compounds such as long-term and real-time keep their hyphen after the verb, where British style drops it.

With the tell

The reporting is real-time, the risks are long-term, and the product is well-known in the sector.

Without it

The reporting is real time, the risks are long term, and the product is well known in the sector.

Fix Hyphenate before the noun (a long-term contract) and drop it after the verb (the contract is long term).

  • humanizer.26
  • soundshuman.35

r-182 · Structure

Warm-up line after a heading

A heading is followed by a one-line sentence that restates it before the real content starts.

With the tell

## Performance Speed matters. The new release cut median query time from 340ms to 90ms on our benchmark.

Without it

## Performance The new release cut median query time from 340ms to 90ms on our benchmark.

Fix Delete the warm-up line. Let the heading lead straight into the first fact.

  • humanizer.29
  • soundshuman.23

r-183 · Meaning

Narrating the change

Documentation describes what used to be there and what replaced it, instead of how the thing works now.

With the tell

The export function was rewritten to replace the previous approach, which caused timeouts on large tenants.

Without it

The export function streams rows in batches of 10,000, so tenants with millions of records can export without timing out.

Fix Describe the current behaviour. Keep the history for the changelog.

  • humanizer.30
  • soundshuman.24

r-190 · Words

US spellings

American spellings (color, center, analyze, favorite) in a piece written for British readers.

With the tell

The new security operations center will analyze traffic from every branch, and the supplier's favorite metric is mean time to respond.

Without it

The new security operations centre will analyse traffic from every branch, and the supplier's favourite metric is mean time to respond.

Fix Use British spelling. Leave proper names alone, such as the US Department of Defense.

  • house.uk

r-191 · Words

US usage

American words and idioms, such as gotten, "last fall" and "on the weekend", in British copy.

With the tell

Pricing has gotten more complicated since last fall, when the vendor moved to per-core licensing.

Without it

Pricing has become more complicated since last autumn, when the vendor moved to per-core licensing.

Fix Use the British form. Got, last autumn, at the weekend.

  • house.uk

r-192 · Punctuation

Full stops after Mr and Dr

Titles such as Mr, Mrs, Dr and St carry a full stop, which is American style.

With the tell

Mr. Patel, who joined from a rival bank in 2021, will report to Dr. Evans.

Without it

Mr Patel, who joined from a rival bank in 2021, will report to Dr Evans.

Fix Drop the stop. British style writes Mr, Mrs, Ms, Dr and St without one.

  • house.uk

r-200 · Voice

Flat rhythm

Each sentence is close in length to the one before it, so the paragraph never speeds up or slows down.

Not used in the verdictGuards rewrites only.

With the tell

The service went live across the region in March this year. Customer numbers grew steadily over the following three months. Support tickets fell as the new portal bedded in with users. The team now plans to add two more regions next year.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

The service went live in March. Customer numbers grew steadily over the next three months, and support tickets fell once people had got used to the new portal, which took longer than the team expected. Two more regions follow next year.

Fix When rewriting, keep the writer's bursts. A short sentence after a long one is how people talk.

  • soundshuman.statistical-tells
  • house_fix.HOW.cv_sentence_len
  • smart-brevity

r-201 · Voice

Unsigned verdicts

The paragraph tells readers what they should or must do, but nobody signs the advice, neither the writer nor a named source.

Not used in the verdictGuards rewrites only.

With the tell

Organisations should treat backup as a security control. It is essential that restores are tested every quarter. Boards must ask for evidence, not assurances.

Without it

I think every board should ask to see a restore test. At Kestrel we run one each quarter, and the last one found two servers that had not been backed up since 2022.

Fix Say whose view it is. "I think boards should" or "the NCSC says boards should" gives the reader someone to argue with.

  • anchor
  • unslop.ctc-opinions
  • sentence-models

r-202 · Voice

No moment to picture

A long paragraph has no date, no named person, no quotation and no first-hand moment, so there is nothing a reader can picture.

Not used in the verdictGuards rewrites only.

With the tell

Adopting a new service management platform requires careful planning across several teams. Processes need to be mapped, data needs to be cleaned, and staff need to be trained before the switch. Without this preparation, projects tend to overrun and users lose confidence in the new tools, which can undermine the whole investment. Clear ownership of each workstream helps, as does regular communication with the people who will use the system every day, so that problems surface early and can be fixed before go-live rather than after it. Post-implementation reviews then confirm whether the expected benefits have been realised and identify any further changes required.

Read across the whole passage, so no single phrase is marked.

Without it

When Kestrel Insurance switched service desks in May, its head of IT, Priya Shah, spent the first fortnight doing nothing but mapping how tickets actually moved between teams. She sat with the claims handlers, watched them raise requests, and wrote down every approval a ticket needed before anyone could touch it. The mapping found three approval steps that nobody used and nobody could explain. Cutting them saved more time than the new tool did, and the claims team noticed within a week, before the vendor's own training had even started.

Fix When rewriting, keep or add one real moment, such as who said what, where and when. Never invent it.

  • soundshuman.human-signs
  • content-taste
  • smart-brevity